Crab Claw Ale by Old Dominion Brewing - Like a sea captain's antidote to crustacean infestation.
Oberon Ale by Bell's Brewery - Like the aunt you thought was bringing cake but only brought the plate.
Red Fish by Flying Fish Brewing - Like a school of snappers spawning in your throat.
Schöfferhofer Grapefruit by Binding Brauerei - Like that Indiana Jones boulder falling off a truck onto your Vespa.
Narragansett Lager by Narragansett Brewing - Like the kitten you didn't know your guest had hiding in your shoe.
Schönramer Gold by Private Landbrauerei Schönram - Like Bavarian lollipop debris in a honey river.
McSorley's Old Ale House Light Beer by McSorley's Old Ale House - Like rainwater spilled from a pre-Civil War-era cistern.
All Day IPA (Session Ale) by Founders Brewing - Like a bucketful of flowers thrown by a part time teetotaller.
Gandhi-Bot by New England Brewing - Like living in a delicious world of civil disobedience and flower humanoids.
Conntucky Lightnin' Ale by Two Roads Brewing - Like a lumberjack wearing a flag that says "Don't tread on fleas."
The Crisp by Sixpoint Brewery - Like entering a door marked "gentle slap in face" and and receiving what's advertised.
Whiting St. by Relic Brewing Co. - Like a refreshing trip to pre-Prohibition/post-Inhibition 'Merrca.
Time Traveller Shandy by The Traveller Beer - Like a seeded red fruit stripped of its seed merit badge.
Yang by Evil Twin Brewing - Like dancing on the head of a pin, then the angel loses her grip during the dip.
Yin by Evil Twin Brewing - Like getting between Mike Tyson's fist and his other fist.
Narragansett Summer Ale by Narragansett Brewing - Like a sun-dappled orange peel on Heaven Avenue.
Czech Style Pilsner by Berkshire Brewing - Like the crisp, sweet bite of the waterfall.
Igor's Dream by Two Roads Brewing - Like Natasha's go-to mashed potato sedative.
Leffe Blonde by Abbaye de Leffe - Like that palindrome: toosweeteewsoot.
Wayan by Birra Baladin - Like an underpuckered kiss from Aunt Bella.
Jersey Summer Breakfast Ale by Cricket Hill Brewing - Like a juicy bit of gossip about what Bon Jovi ate this morning.
Samuel Adams Summer Ale by Boston Beer - Like the shallow end of the lemonade pool.
Dubbel by Allagash Brewing - Like the abridged version of _Great Expectations_.
Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier by Bayerische Staatsbrauerei Weihenstephan - Like a schmeck of sunshine on a nicht so gut day.
Blindfold by Sierra Nevada Brewing - Like a ninja attacking a Starbucks and sharing the spoils.
White by Allagash Brewing - Like hanging out with a suddenly rich friend who turns out to still be cool.
Dale's Pale Ale by Oskar Blues Brewery - Like being on a sailboat. Because I am!
Tenacious Traveler Shandy by Traveler Beer Co. - Like a lemon pop, ginger hop shakedown breakdown.
Honeyspot Road White IPA by Two Roads Brewing - Like summer in a lobster cage.
Samuel Adams Summer Ale by Boston Beer - Like inviting the pool guy named Lemonisto over in March just to hurry up the season.
Hizzoner Maibock by Two Roads Brewing - Like a smooth freeway that merges onto the cinnaminterstate.
Samuel Adams Blueberry Hill Lager by Boston Beer - Like Fats Domino Sugar Hill Gang singing sweetly.
Samuel Adams Porch Rocker by Boston Beer - Like if life gave you lemons and you made lemon fizz.
Samuel Adams Little White Rye by Boston Beer - Like looking for the illusion that's not there and not seeing it.
Blueberry Ale by Blue Point Brewing - Like Veruca Salt square dancing in your backyard alone.
Porcine Unidragon by Clown Shoes - Like a well-fed, tuxedoed licorice farmer on your chest.
Bass Pale Ale by Bass Brewers - Like an old friend who gets a little more tired each time.
Porterhouse Oyster Stout by Porterhouse Brewing Co. - Like a wave of pearls on the Irish Sea, if there is an Irish Sea.
Ommegang Witte by Brewery Ommegang - Like a gentle caress from a sunflower in bloom.
Misty Mountain IPA by Back East Brewing - Like a tweak on the nose and a sprinkle of fairy dust on the back of your tongue.
Toasted Lager by Blue Point Brewing - Like the crusty end of lollypop toast.
Black Hop IPA by Shebeen Brewing - Like a towel rubbing your noggin after a stroll through the garden dew.
Liberator Doppelbock by Thomas Hooker Brewing - Like a chocolate blanket on a cool night in Mellowtown.
Brother Thelonious by North Coast Brewing - A plink plink plonk a rebop dig it baby kind of scene, cat.
Shed Mountain Ale by Otter Creek Brewing - Like a cocoa avalanche that pins you to a chocolate factory.
Naughty Goose by Goose Island - Like a humane mousetrap of walnut intimacy.
Summertime by Goose Island - Like a Slip n' Slide into Sunshine City.
Munich-Style Golden Lager by Thomas Hooker Brewing - Like a buttery biscuit eaten in the rain.
White by Allagash Brewing - Like the amusement park in heaven.
Grand Circus IPA by Atwater Brewery - Like the clowns that live in the attic fit 20 buckets of oranges in a Prius.
Session Premium Lager by Full Sail Brewing - Like an aspirin when you're blindfolded and expect a Valium.
Odyssey by Allagash Brewing - Like a lollypop dredged through a square yard of sugar.
Dark Hollow by Blue Mountain Brewery - Like soupy sludge: paradise edition.
Heady Topper by The Alchemist - Like a Triple Crown winner who accidentally runs through your backyard.
Brooklyn Pilsner by Brooklyn Brewery - Like a German tourist who stumbles upon Williamsburg.
668 The Neighbor of the Beast by New England Brewing - Like being invited to a kegger and finding out it's a ball.
Namaste by Dogfish Head Craft Brewery - Like a bumpy ride that ends at the corner of Hmmm and Nice.
Ben Harris by Redhook Ale Brewery - Like looking up the popular guy from high school and finding out he's a jerk.
Worker's Comp Saison by Two Roads Brewing - Like a flash of light coming from the edge of the dark pineapple grove.
Bengali Tiger by Sixpoint Brewery - Like a double play thrown from Hop to Lemon to Gardenmouth.
Cabin Fever by Berkshire Brewing - Like a sugar bath with a toffee rubber ducky.
Singletrack Copper Ale by Boulder Beer - Like a red balloon hiding in a pile of dirty socks.
Enjoy By 04.01.13 IPA by Stone Brewing - Like a spring shower in very late March. (Finally!!!)
There Will Be Black by Brooklyn Brewery - Like a begonia hiding under an oil slick.
Dean's Beans Coffeehouse Porter by Berkshire Brewing - Like a hot chocolate mustache on a Doberman shepherd.
Guinness Draught by Guinness - Like an old hat that starts to slip off.
Mean Old Tom by Maine Beer - Like a charcoal suit that fits best on Wednesday.
Stone Ruination IPA by Stone Brewing - Like a full body slap from a large, pretty hand.
Ol'Factory Pilsner by Two Roads Brewing - Like a rivulet of nice that longs to be the ocean of wow.
Porter by Back East Brewing - Like a mug of cold cocoa with a chalk straw.
Spinster XPA by Thomas Hooker Brewing (on cask) - Like a sweet old lady who sits in church wearing spiked heels.
Bright Ale by Half Full Brewery - Like a boomerang to the palate.
Dean's Beans Coffeehouse Porter by Berkshire Brewing - Like a mudbath mustache callabash meeting with corporate.
Transatlantic Belgian IPA by Relic Brewing - Like a tropical rollercoaster that gets set ablaze.
Narragansett Porter by Narragansett Brewing - Like a sudden elevator drop into a bathtub made of licorice.
Concord Grape Saison by Shebeen Brewing - Like Miss New York's twisted mouth in purple lipstick.
Cannoli Beer by Shebeen Brewing - Like playing Candyland with chocolate gold coins.
Chocolate Indulgence by Brewery Ommegang - Like Valentine's chocolate in June.
Carpenter's Ale by City Steam Brewery - Like a well-constructed lean-to at the swamp's edge. (On cask.)
Hop Meadow IPA by Thomas Hooker Brewing - Like a mouth full of tiny siesta-taking bees. (On cask.)
Ruthless Rye IPA (2013) by Sierra Nevada Brewing - Like a scratch on that itch on the back of your neck.
Noble Rot by Dogfish Head Craft Brewery - Like an off-color joke whispered by a dirty angel.
Imperial Stout by Back East Brewing - Like a donkey that kicks over the torch that burns down the village. (On cask.)
Imperial Cascadian Ale by Half Full Brewery - Like a high note sung by a dirty choir.
Directors' Cut by Harpoon Brewery - Like an unearthed scene from "Weird Science" where Bill Paxton sips chocolate milk through a garden hose.
Blackheart by Relic Brewing - Like a musical version of "Backdraft," starring C. Thomas Howell.
Bourbon County Brand Stout by Goose Island Beer - Like a licorice pea coat filled with tiny barrels of fudge.
La Fin Du Monde by Unibroue - Like a hot air balloon ride to Ontario with a Mayan calendar.
Diesel by Sixpoint Brewery - Like a one-armed tightrope walker with an itchy kneecap.
Dirty Penny (Aged On Vanilla Beans & Coffee) by Olde Burnside Brewing - Like a coffee ground sandwich made with burnt raisin toast. (On cask.)
Honeyspot Road White IPA by Two Roads Brewing - Like a feather that satisfied your uncle and now your aunt's intrigued.
Naughty Nurse by City Steam Brewery - Like a sponge bath in spring while listening to the Andrews Sisters.
Connecticut Pale Ale by Southport Brewing - Like a ride down a river lined with crocodiles with poetry degrees
Cabin Fever by Berkshire Brewing - Like an effervescent pixie flitting about in the kitchen making waffles.
Careless Love by City Steam Brewery - Like a road slick with sweet sweat and sweeter beef.
Naughty Goose by Goose Island Beer Co. - Like a tender hug from a man who loiters around the chocolate factory.
Samuel Adams Alpine Spring by Boston Beer Co. - Like sucking down a ginger ale left after a party that ended June 12, 2005.
Pig's Ear Brown Ale by Woodstock Inn Brewery - Like a roll in the candied sty.
Oatmeal Stout by Samuel Smith Old Brewery - Like a daydream wrapped in a mink coat rolled in oats.
Indie Brown Ale by Blind Willy Brewing - Like a beer I brewed six months ago. Because it is.
Guinness Draught /Harp Lager (Black and Tan) by Guinness - Like leather and lace, all up in your face.
Imperial Stout by Founders Brewing Co. - Like a warn hug from Saint Sweetbottom.
1687 Brown Ale by Charter Oak Brewing - Like an awkward high-five with the coffee vendor.
Harpoon IPA by Harpoon Brewery - Like a good neighbor, Harpoon is there...
Sweet Action by Sixpoint Brewery - Like a rare errant arrow that strikes the caramel buffalo.
Dirty Bastard by Founders Brewing - Like a catcher's mitt bragging about going to the Toffee All-Star Game.
POM Wheat by Hillside Brewing - Like a delicate dance with a hippo named Fruitface.
Gerry Dog Stout by Big Elm - Like sliding through an oak barrel slip slide and splinter.
Gold Spike Ale by Berkshire Brewing - Like enjoying a breeze through a small window on a hazy day.
Delirium Nocturnum by Brouwerij Huyghe - Like walking sideways through a crowd of jumping pink revelers.
Will Siss: Beer Snob 
Hey Will! Don’t forget about the 18th Annual CT Craft Brewer’s Beer Fest “NAUGtoberfest!” happening next Saturday, Sept. 29th – Gates open at 1 – This is CT’s longest continually held beer tasting event and one of its best! Event is under under the BIERGARTEN TENTS at Jesse Camille’s Restaurant, Rt. 63, Naugatuck and is co-sponsored by LoCascio Liquors of Prospect and Jesse Camille’s. Tickets are $30 in advance, $35 at the gate. Price includes all beer, German Wine tasting and live music by The Austrian Boys and the Johnny I Band. Brewers include Sam Adams, Magic Hat, Pyramid, Sierra Nevada, Anchor Steam, Narragansett, Otter Creek/Wolaver’s, Paulaner, Haaker Pschorr, Warsteiner, City Steam, Weed, Harpoon, Berkshire, Cavalry, Blue Point, Long Trail, Goose Island, Kona, Widmer, Red Hook, Saranac, Hooker +++ Remember, the net proceeds from this event benefit the Camille B. Perugini Memorial Trust which was created in memory of my late sister … since 1998, the trust has awarded over $166,000 in scholarships to area college-bound high school seniors – IT’S A GREAT EVENT AND A GREAT CAUSE – HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE! Atty. Carla Perugini-Erickson