Traditional Lager by Yuengling Brewery - Like swimming in a lonely pond.
Twinkler Barley Wine by Firefly Hollow Brewing - Like a hot bath inside a jelly-smeared greenhouse.
Gerry Dog Stout by Big Elm Brewing - Like a sweet throat embrace from a leggy demon.
Bacon Kona Stout by Shebeen Brewing - Like a pig in a thick, scratchy blanket.
Pineapple Wheat by Shebeen Brewing - Like a fruit salad hidden behind the fountain at a summer gala.
Toadstool Oat Stout by Firefly Hollow Brewing - Like a full gallop through the feed store whooping it up.
Gerry Dog Stout by Big Elm Brewing - Like swimming in maple butter with Clifford the Big Brown Pancake.
Route of all Evil by Two Roads Brewing - Like picking up Robert Frost on the side of a rain-slicked gravel road.
Imperial Biscotti Break by Evil Twin Brewing - Like surviving a choke-hold delivered by a licorice monkey.
Lil' B by Evil Twin Brewing - Like a thrilling ride called Choco-Rocket outside a drugstore.
Hipster Ale by Evil Twin Brewing - Like a swordfight between Bitteroso and Maltito, with Bitteroso declared winner.
Ron and the Beast Ryan by Evil Twin Brewing - Like Hamlet with Yorick substituted with a lemon.
Heavy Seas Below Decks (2012) by Heavy Seas Beer - Like a smothering peg legged hug from Santa's year-old personal pirate.
Brewmaster Series Imperial Porter by Long Trail Brewing - Like a chocolate candle burning in a cozy ski lodge.
Cricket's Nocturne by Cricket Hill Brewing - Like a gypsy dance in the sweet mud left of paradise.
Pullman Brown Ale by Flossmoor Station Brewery - Like a syrup factory built on train tracks without a tunnel.
Bourbon Cru by Hardywood Park Craft Brewery - Like a wet liquor blanket on a plum raisin bed.
Farmhouse Pumpkin by Hardywood Park Craft Brewery - Like a Nutmeg County, Virginia, gourd-toss.
Porter by Founders Brewing - Like a smooth trip down a coffee bean carnival slide.
G-Thing by Magic Hat Brewing - Like a root juice party to which beet was not invited.
Double Bag by Long Trail Brewing - Like a caramel chew soaked in distortion juice.
Kind Ryed IPA by Otter Creek Brewing (Otter Creek, Wolaver's) - Like a grapefruit slaloming down Mt. Mellow.
Otter Creek Copper Ale by Otter Creek Brewing (Otter Creek, Wolaver's) - Like a dull penny placed on a cold rail.
Nitro Oatmeal Stout by Founders Brewing - Like a trip through Dublin in high heels and a feather boa.
Celebration Ale (2013) by Sierra Nevada Brewing - Like neon revelers moon-landing bouncing on your tonsils.
Heart of Darkness by Magic Hat Brewing - Like Joe Conrad with a cup of Congo coffee.
Biere De Mars by Southampton Publick House - Like a quiet robot from Planet Funk.
420 Extra Pale Ale by SweetWater Brewing - Like a fruit salad jacket on a gummy worm.
Henry Weinhard's Woodland Pass IPA by Blitz-Weinhard Brewing - Like lifting a gallon of river water that's somehow made lighter by a quarter inch of orange rind.
Really Old Brown Dog Ale by Smuttynose Brewing - Like a Doberman blanket at midnight.
Wells Banana Bread Beer by Wells & Young’s Brewing - Like a monkey performance at a ballet: it's neat, but not necessary.
Conniption Fit by Atwater - Like being enfolded in grandma's bingo arms.
Thrice by Relic - Like a ride in a roofless minivan with a basket of flowers.
La Rullés Estivale by Brasserie Artisanale de Rulles - Like following a map and finding a parking lot instead of a garden.
Hydroponic White by Southport - Like a whisper behind a screamed secret about bananas.
Coffee Stout by Thimble Island - Like slowing down in front of the Starbucks, then speeding up to get to the chocolatier.
Road 2 Ruin Double IPA by Two Roads - Like a secret door behind the candy vending machine leading to pines.
Stone Farking Wheaton w00tstout by Stone - Like teleporting to see a dead body but instead WHEEEEATON!
Dog Soldier Golden Ale by Cavalry - Like doing the speed limit to the beach while being passed by a 2013 Ford 150.
Samuel Adams Oyster Stout by Boston Beer Company - Like a pearl of murk from the Caramel Sea.
10th Anniversary Utopias (2012) by Boston Beer Company - Like the top shelf stuff tipped over and landed in your mouth.
Samuel Adams Grumpy Monk Belgian IPA by Boston Beer Company - A bite on the tongue from that girl in college who became a nun.
Dog Soldier Golden Ale by Cavalry - Like a slate washed clean of all sin.
Crab Claw Ale by Old Dominion - Like a sea captain's antidote to crustacean infestation.
Oberon Ale by Bell's - Like the aunt you thought was bringing cake but only brought the plate.
Red Fish by Flying Fish - Like a school of snappers spawning in your throat.
Schöfferhofer Grapefruit by Binding Brauerei - Like that Indiana Jones boulder falling off a truck onto your Vespa.
Narragansett Lager by Narragansett - Like the kitten you didn't know your guest had hiding in your shoe.
Schönramer Gold by Private Landbrauerei Schönram - Like Bavarian lollipop debris in a honey river.
McSorley's Old Ale House Light Beer by McSorley's Old Ale House - Like rainwater spilled from a pre-Civil War-era cistern.
All Day IPA by Founders - Like a bucketful of flowers thrown by a part time teetotaller.
Gandhi-Bot by New England - Like living in a delicious world of civil disobedience and flower humanoids.
Conntucky Lightnin' Ale by Two Roads - Like a lumberjack wearing a flag that says "Don't tread on fleas."
The Crisp by Sixpoint - Like entering a door marked "gentle slap in face" and and receiving what's advertised.
Whiting St by Relic - Like a refreshing trip to pre-Prohibition/post-Inhibition 'Merrca.
Time Traveler Shandy by Traveler - Like a seeded red fruit stripped of its seed merit badge.
Yang by Evil Twin - Like dancing on the head of a pin, then the angel loses her grip during the dip.
Yin by Evil Twin - Like getting between Mike Tyson's fist and his other fist.
Narragansett Summer Ale by Narragansett Like a sun-dappled orange peel on Heaven Avenue.
Czech Style Pilsner by Berkshire - Like the crisp, sweet bite of the waterfall.
Igor's Dream by Two Roads - Like Natasha's go-to mashed potato sedative.
Leffe Blonde by Abbaye de Leffe - Like that palindrome: toosweeteewsoot.
Wayan by Birra Baladin - Like an underpuckered kiss from Aunt Bella.
Jersey Summer Breakfast Ale by Cricket Hill - Like a juicy bit of gossip about what Bon Jovi ate this morning.
Samuel Adams Summer Ale by Boston Beer Company - Like the shallow end of the lemonade pool.
Dubbel by Allagash - Like the abridged version of _Great Expectations_.
Weihenstephaner Hefeweissbier by Bayerische Staatsbrauerei Weihenstephan -Like a schmeck of sunshine on a nicht so gut day.
Blindfold by Sierra Nevada - Like a ninja attacking a Starbucks and sharing the spoils.
White by Allagash - Like hanging out with a suddenly rich friend who turns out to still be cool.
Dale's Pale Ale by Oskar Blues - Like being on a sailboat. Because I am!
Tenacious Traveler Shandy by Traveler - Like a lemon pop, ginger hop shakedown breakdown.
Honeyspot Road White IPA by Two Roads - Tastes like summer in a lobster cage.
Samuel Adams Summer Ale by Boston Beer Company - Like inviting the pool guy named Lemonisto over in March just to hurry up the season.
Hizzoner Maibock by Two Roads - Like a smooth freeway that merges onto the cinnaminterstate.
Samuel Adams Blueberry Hill Lager by Boston Beer Company - Like Fats Domino Sugar Hill Gang singing sweetly.
Samuel Adams Porch Rocker by Boston Beer Company - Like if life gave you lemons and you made lemon fizz.
Samuel Adams Little White Rye by Boston Beer Company - Like looking for the illusion that's not there and not seeing it.
Blueberry Ale by Blue Point - Like Veruca Salt square dancing in your backyard alone.
Porcine Unidragon by Clown Shoes - Like a well-fed, tuxedoed licorice farmer on your chest.
Bass Pale Ale by Bass Brewers - Like an old friend who gets a little more tired each time.
BPA by Brewery Ommegang - Like a hearty handshake with a nattily dressed foreign dignitary.
Abner Weed Amber Ale by Mt. Shasta - Like a pancake lollypop served on a plate that isn't there.
Flagship Ale by Grey Sail - Like a silky pair of pants straight from the ice box.
Old Capital by Keegan Ales - Like a sad face drawn by a clown found at the bottom of a well.
Clockwork Session IPA by Relic - Like a slap in the mouth from a fiesty librarian.
Harpoon IPA by Harpoon - Like a leopard's kiss in the lobby of a fancy Holiday Inn at dawn.